Here we are again with more from The Desert Fox and The Iberico Clavel, latest book in the Iron Angel series, which begins with The Strange Fate of Capricious Jones. By the way, for those of you in or near New Jersey, I’ll be appearing at the Steampunk World’s Fair in May! Now, without further delay, Desert Fox.
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The sheets, once equally rich, now worn thin, spoke of how long ago that wealth had been won. The woman kneeling next to the bed noticed neither. The old man coughed, one more horrid, wracking expectoration, and then fell still, unmoving.
For Alondra Vega, death was as old a friend as any of the nastier parts of life. She steeled herself and lifted a small hand mirror to the old man’s lips. For a count of ten she held the mirror there. When it did not fog, she pulled it away and pulled the old, worn black silk over the old man’s face.
I like it! I like the nice, hard feel of your writing in this snippet. One question: if death is an old friend, why does she have to steel herself to put the mirror to his lips? Perhaps that’s explained once the broader picture is revealed, though. Good job!
Hopefully next week’s installment (or the next after that?) will make the reasons for her hesitation clearer. Thanks for the compliments!
This excerpt begs the question of the woman’s relationship to the old man. I especially like your descriptions. They tell so much more than mere visual facts.
Thanks! I try to add in a deeper understanding, but it’s tough sometimes, especially when the POV character is… well… rather unlike me. Glad it comes through!
Fab 6, Robert! Kinda hard, kinda soft … liked it!
Thanks C.C.!
I like her stoic acceptance. The scene definitely catches my interest.
Glad you liked it! Writing Alondra is a challenge for a few reasons, so I’m always wondering if I got it right.